Your Cycle and Your Desire: What Do Hormones Say?

Some days you feel more attractive, energetic and in the mood, and other days you're not interested at all. These ups and downs aren't just about mood. Some of it has to do with the hormones that change throughout your cycle. Getting to know your own pattern can help you look at your body with more kindness.

What happens during your cycle? According to the NHS, estrogen rises in the first half of your cycle and triggers ovulation. In the second half, progesterone takes the lead. Right before your period, both drop. These hormones affect not only your uterus but also your energy, mood and sexual desire.

Does desire rise at ovulation? On average, research says yes. In a 2023 study in which the hormones of 97 women were measured every day, sexual desire and sexual activity were higher around ovulation than in the second half of the cycle. As estrogen rose, desire went up, and as progesterone rose, it went down. A 2025 study with 585 women also found increases in desire, and especially in wetness, were reported more often around ovulation.

But not everyone is the same. The same researchers stress that the effect is small on average and varies a lot from person to person. For some women desire peaks mid-cycle, for others around their period, and some have no clear pattern at all. Stress, sleep, feelings in your relationship and how you feel about yourself often matter more than hormones. So there's no single "normal" pattern.

Discover your own pattern: For a few cycles, jot down your energy, mood and desire in your calendar. Over time you may see which days you feel best. This can help you understand yourself and talk more comfortably with your partner.

Sex during your period: This is completely a personal choice. If you want to, you can, and if you don't, that's perfectly natural too. There are two things to know:

• Pregnancy is still possible: Although the chance is low, sperm can live in the body for up to 7 days. If your cycle is short or you ovulate early, you can get pregnant from sex during your period. Your period is not a form of birth control.
• Protection from infections: Condoms are the only method that protects against sexually transmitted infections.

Can it help with cramps? Cleveland Clinic notes that orgasm may help ease period cramps. Muscle relaxation and feel-good hormones are a reasonable explanation. But there's no solid clinical study that has tested this. Proven methods include heat, gentle exercise and pain relievers your doctor considers suitable.

Does the birth control pill lower desire? The evidence is mixed. In a review of 36 studies including 8,422 women using the combined pill, desire increased or stayed the same for 85% of women and decreased for 15%. The NHS also lists hormonal methods among the possible causes of low sex drive. If you think the pill is affecting your desire, don't stop it on your own. Talk with your doctor and you can switch to another option that suits you.

When to see a doctor? According to the NHS, it's a good idea to get advice if a drop in desire is upsetting you or if you suspect a medication or birth control method is the cause. Stress, anxiety, depression, relationship problems, thyroid disease and diabetes can also lower desire. If you have pain during sex, be sure to share that with your doctor too.

Dear woman, your body completes a small cycle every month, and each phase has its own beauty. Listen to yourself and don't judge what you feel. Your desire, like your energy, can rise and fall, and that's completely human.