Your Daughter's First Period: How Do You Talk to Her About It?

In those days when you notice your daughter growing up, one question comes to mind: "What will we do when her period starts?" The first period, known medically as menarche, is a natural part of puberty. Your calm, open attitude helps her meet this change with confidence instead of fear.

When does the first period come? According to the NHS, most girls start their periods at around age 12, but they can start as early as age 8. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) notes that most girls start between ages 12 and 13, while some start earlier or later. So it is perfectly natural for her to start before or after her friends.

How can you tell it is getting close? According to ACOG, the first period usually comes about 2-3 years after the breasts start to develop. The NHS says hair growing in the armpits and genital area can also be a sign that a period is on its way. When you see these signs, it is a good time to start talking.

Small chats instead of one big talk: The NHS recommends explaining periods through conversations over time rather than a formal "sit-down talk." A TV commercial, a trip to the grocery store or a question she asks can be a great starting point. A few tips:

• Stress that periods are completely normal and natural, a part of growing up.
• As the NHS recommends, use the correct names for body parts and explain things in clear, simple language. Talking without embarrassment gives her confidence too.
• Do not brush off her questions. If there is something you do not know, learn it together.
• According to the NHS, boys need to learn about periods too. Not keeping the topic hidden at home is good for everyone.

What to expect: According to ACOG, first periods are usually light, and sometimes there are only a few reddish-brown spots. The NHS notes that the total blood lost during a period is about 20-90 ml, or 1-5 tablespoons, and that it does not come out in a sudden gush. It is normal for a period to last 2-7 days. Some girls have tummy or lower back pain and tender breasts before and during their period.

Irregularity is normal in the early years: The NHS says it can take a few months for the body to settle into a regular pattern. According to ACOG, it can take 6 years or longer after periods start for the cycle to become fully regular. During the teen years, cycles of 21-45 days are considered normal. If your daughter marks her period days on a calendar or in an app, she will get to know her own pattern over time.

A period kit: The NHS recommends carrying pads before periods start and keeping spare underwear and tights at school or in her bag. You can put together a small kit together:

• A few pads and thin panty liners
• Spare underwear and tights
• A small bag to wrap used pads in

As the NHS suggests, also tell her that if she does not have a pad at school, she can ask a teacher or the school nurse.

Which product should she start with? The NHS notes that pads, tampons, menstrual cups and period underwear are all safe for girls who have just started their periods. But because getting used to tampons and cups can take time, pads may be easier for a first period. ACOG recommends changing a pad at least every 4-8 hours, or when it is full, wet or uncomfortable.

When to see a doctor? According to the NHS and ACOG, contact a pediatrician or gynecologist if:

• Signs of puberty, such as breast development or periods, started before age 8
• She has not started her period by age 15, or she is 13 and has no signs of puberty at all
• Her periods stop for more than 3 months after they have started
• A period lasts longer than 7 days, or she needs to change her pad every 1-2 hours
• Pain does not go away despite the recommended remedies and keeps her from going to school

If the bleeding is very heavy and your daughter feels lightheaded, dizzy or has a racing heartbeat, get medical help right away. If it is serious, call your local emergency number.

Early or late puberty is usually not a cause for concern. The NHS notes that it is usually not a problem and can sometimes run in families. Tests your doctor does can help find out whether there is an underlying cause.

Dear mom, your daughter's first period is a new chapter for her, and a special moment for you to give her confidence. Letting her feel that you are by her side for every question is the best preparation she could have.